We're connecting again, "he and I"....it's different now. I've learned much these days...once again...how do I explain? It's not easy to put into words. He hasn't really changed much, so much as I have in seeing things in a "new light". I'm learning to understand him better each day. Each day brings different "aha" moments to me. I've learned many lessons of late..that's for sure...I feel a huge change a "metamorphosis" in my life. It's rather scary and at times I feel afraid...but I know it's coming anyway.......................my "new life"......it's been very overwhelming for me...going too fast...I must follow my heart and slow down....the angels on high kept trying, sending me many messages for quite some time now.....along with many signals that I have not paid much attention to of late...but now I have no choice..and I do "chose" to listen and pay more attention to them now. It's my soul...my mystical "being" that is changing. I turn one direction and then turn another and slowly I am "seeing" things beyond my own issues, my own burdens in my life...I see all around me and observation is not the way to go now for me...participation is. I will follow wherever it leads me...many hands are there to lead the way...all our hands are reaching out now. I must speak up...but more subtle now..in a different way. As the Buddha saying goes "it is what it is"...and continues to "be"....spreading it's wings to a better place...yet still in the moment more so these days.
None of this probably makes any sense to anyone but myself....that's okay..that's what this blog is about...my "life"...as it is and will be. Onward to acceptance...and less so called "perfection"...from myself and from anyone else either...time for rest more quiet and more listening..and more courage to face the fears, as always....but with less anxiety and expectations....along with my great fears of being vulnerable to someone...anyone...because I think they will hurt me....life is full of pain....but it's also full of beautiful moments...that we will miss if we just stand still.....within our souls...and learning to trust is the hardest of all for me....working on not letting the ones who hurt me so much in the past affect my present moments in life now...I waste too much time worrying about the consequences of my actions...time for the "free falling"...yeah Tom Petty was right..and I am that song by the way!...I grew up in the valley in "Reseda" Los Angeles county!...."She's a good girl lives in Reseda, there's a freeway running right through the yard"....yep that was me!...and I'm free, free falling...well, it's about time, don't you think? Yes, I think so...more like "free, free flying"...oh well..."whatever" as many say...we will see....life is short my dear friends...don't forget...no regrets in the end...take the chance...just boarding another train, just on another track...and going in a totally different direction...I hear the train a coming now....see you later....stay tuned....