Sunday, December 12, 2010

I watched ABC 20/20 last night....about a man who has Asberger syndrome...amazing story.

Watching this TV show of a man with Asberger syndrome...who could memorize in his head thousands of numbers given to him....he could do it all at once.  They showed the way his brain does these things...he see's the world in such a different light than most of us do....I think many with asberger syndrome (they prefer the word "Aspie" as the orginal word sounds so yucky)  see the world in so many ways that we cannot even begin to imagine what it might be like to think and see and observe the way they do.  Their minds are just amazing.  I see my loved one now, as someone very special, incredibly intelligent with a brain of a scientist who can read a large book overnite or in an hour or so.  The "world" within him is so special....and he is so creative and so that I know and understand him better, the "little things" those little "irritations" and "upsets" that would get to me, not understanding why he would do some of the things he does.  Now that I know, I see him in such a brighter and more lovely light...he's like a rainbow, he see's all the colors and all these special things in his mind that we don't have the privilege to even comprehend.  He is in touch with his "inner childe" and I am also...regardless of all the "crap" I've been through in my life, I still have the "kid" in is so nice to love and know someone that does also.  Yet he also is a "survivor" like me and a responsible adult man.  He knows how to take care of himself and "life".  We decorate together, get ideas on where to put what where, to create something of beauty together.  It's like we are connecting to one another's thoughts creative wise.  How can I ever explain what it's like?  For the first time in my life, there is someone that I actually think "gets me" and I am learning so much about his "inner world"....I think it was his uniqueness that I fell in love with upon first meeting and getting to know him.   But at that time, I did not know he was an "aspie" and I used to get so frustrated.  Understanding someone and learning to accept them as they are, has brought a more inner happiness to my life.  As hard as life may be, he is like a beckon of light for me...and now that I know and see and begin to understand his "special ways" it means more to me than anyone can imagine.   

He is the most intelligent man I've ever met, and I was married to an intellectual man for many years...but this is different, so different, so creative so beautiful...because we like the same books, movies, special "little things" in life...taking walks, looking at the shape of clouds, the rain falling, the wind blowing wildly, we have very similar thoughts and idea's about whats going on in this country and whats going on in the world.  His imagination is incredible.  He is very "special" and when he does or says something that used to throw me for a loop, now I understand and it does not affect me or upset me as much.  I learned to "let go" of my frustration and or hurt upon certain "comments"he makes from time to time...I am realizing also that I let so much of my hurt and or anger get the best of me before...but now it's different now, we are on a higher plain a cloud full of all kinds of shapes and sizes and colors.  He see's what he "feels" and frankly I've never met anyone like him before in my entire life and I am beginning to think, that our meeting was meant to be at this time in our lives..and even the bad and "hurt" that happened helped us to come together more...time and understanding and knowing that he loves me the way he does is so special.  

Granted this is not always easy and hasn't been with my very special loved one...but I really think it is more than worth it.  

I love him...and I know he loves me and is happy and so am I...for now this is more than is a very special gift...