Jewel - Foolish Games (Video)

My sad good-bye to my former "ex" boyfriend. This song is pretty right on with him...except for the "smoking your cigarette" and "messy hair" lyrics. "You stood in the doorway with nothing to say except some comment on the weather". Wow, "Excuse me for mistaking you for somebody else, somebody who gave a damn, someone more like myself" I feel right now very strongly about those words...because that's just how I felt once it hit me we were not on the "same path".

Walking out of my front apartment door and seeing him down the hallway knocking at another woman's door, the other day and her opening it and me locking my door and then turning around to walk down the hallway and see him doing this, and then I saw him sticking his head back out real quickly from inside her door looking at me and then I looked away and heard her door shut. She'll learn and if she doesn't I feel bad for her to let herself be used and treated badly....I had to learn the hard way myself...but am glad I spoke up and did try to communicate with him, but then realized time after time, he was not willing to do that. His "fears" and his "selfishness" and "ego and pride" were much more important to him, than I was. Just goes to show that you can have so many things in common with someone and yet not have a good and healthy relationship...if they are never willing to deal with the issues that arise in relationships.

I'm doing pretty good about it, it's been 6 or 7 weeks....but it's not exactly fun to see him right when I come out of my door seeing someone else already. Men can be this way...just bounce from one woman to the other when he has never resolved the issues from his past relationships, with me and I"m sure not other women either...it was "always" about him and his needs. I really am of the opinion that he never loved "me"....only what was on the outside...and I must admit that really hurt me to the core....am glad I wrote the letter to him when I broke it off and got to express how he made me feel and how much he hurt my heart by what he "didn't" do and this time around we are "done" for sure. Seeing him the other day at this woman's door (we live in the same apartment complex) really did bring up the hurt a lot more and was like twisting the knife in. I deserve much better than a man like him....and yet I don't think I will ever find "that man"....better off on my own as sadly as that is...got my girlfriends and I "Trust" them. On the other hand this man has totally "Betrayed my Trust" and he knows it!

"the same women they will come and they will go, when the rain washes you clean you will know, oh you will know"...from "Dreams" song by Stevie Nicks.

As usual like that song says "I will survive"...

Rhiannon