Ran into "him" while waiting at the elevator door to go up to my apartment

Last night, as I pushed the button at the elevator for the 3rd floor, to go up to my apartment....it was all quiet in the large main reception area, just around the corner, the lights were turned off...but not where I was standing waiting for the elevator to open up. No one was around...it was past 8:30 pm, then very quietly I heard someone walking coming around the right corner from the unlit large reception room.....as they turned the corner there I was standing waiting for the elevator....it was "him"....I turned looked over at him (wondering what the heck he was doing "awake" and walking around at that time of night, as he goes to bed very early every single night) he walked right near me, the only two people in sight......he slowed his walk, and for just a few seconds our eyes met. It was so strange and different from the other times I've seen him since "the breakup"....the way he looked at me was very different this time around...his intense look at me, his eyes lit up and I swear I saw a "glimmer" of love lit in his eyes as he looked at me.....I quickly looked away and looked at the elevator door, it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. I managed to quickly put on my "actress face" and just look nonchalant looking at the door, though in my mind I'm thinking "hurry up elevator get me out of here and away from him"!! He walked very close as he walked by me and I felt his eyes on me as he faced the back of me, as he continued to walk so darn slow down the hallway....this man has always been and is a "fast walker"....I felt as if he was once again "waiting for me" to say something...giving me a chance to, by his walking by so slowly....like a snail! But I thought to myself "no, you've already been there done that, not going to be the one bringing up things, or "could we talk about this or that" anymore. If he had something to say well then, if he doesn't have the damn courage to care enough to do it on his own and once again "wait" for me, it will not happen! But I still see the look he gave me, it scared me, because he looked happy to see me and as I mentioned earlier in this post, his eyes looked lit up and filled with I swear it looked like "love"....pretty stupid of me to even think that at this point hey?....but you know people can love one another I suppose....and yet never do anything about it......even if they know they CAN do something about it.....but they don't....that's his "thing" being a "wimp" and waiting for me. I bet he thought I was going to say something for sure and I also think he was a bit surprised I did not and instead I just looked nonchalantly away from him..

My sister was over last night...we rented a movie and she was spending the night...as I walked in the apartment door, after the "elevator encounter" with "him", I felt tears stinging my eyes....and I told her "this encounter with him was different and it was more difficult for me because of the way he looked at me and because he and I were the only ones there, and it looked like he was about to say something to me but wimped out on me'....but I told her that I will not say a thing to him unless he does to me "first"....that is what I want to do...and if he does ever say anything to me, even if it's just a "Hi B" I will turn and look into his eyes and just say "you have totally betrayed my trust" and he will know exactly what I mean by that believe me! Because he has, not only with the other woman, it's not really that but more about him recently befriending and kissing up to the exact two people that have tried to make my life here a living hell....the manager and managers assistant! The complete hurtful idiot "asshole" how could he do this??!...when he knows exactly what they did to me and why they did it???????!!!!....Scorpios can sting for sure if they don't "learn the important lessons" about real love the astrologists always say and I feel this is so true...and he is a Scorpio for sure...but I just know that my being a "Sensitive Pisces" he is probably stunned that I have not said a word to him and just ignore him and go about my life....so there!...I bet he is even still thinking it will happen, but it will not happen. I am determined this time that as much rope as I gave that man and the chances I gave him...that I have no more to say to him and I am done...and yes I still have feelings for him, for that is the way I am...it will take me time.....I am a committed loyal and loving and caring person and woman...but I will not be used or have another man take advantage of my kind heart and then break it in the process. Yes, as time goes on it will improve...but last night seeing him and the way he looked at me, it was not easy I will honestly admit.....it hurt my heart.....and I am still reeling from it....but hey, who knows, maybe he is still reeling and stunned from our little "elevator door meeting" incident last night, just like I was...

All for now....

Love,

Rhiannon